I'm working on a follow-up to Sunday's post but it's not done yet. So please accept this piece of unimportant but informative fluff — Dave
It's funny how things work. Being a gazillionaire in America automatically accords a person great reverence and respect, even though becoming filthy rich is mostly a function of luck—doing the right thing at the right place at the right time. It's certainly not a function of hard work and talent. Lots of talented people who work hard never attain great wealth. And those whose interests and opportunities do not flow in the direction of making scads of money seldom end up with a big pile of it, no matter how hard they work.
So it should not surprise us then when some egregiously mediocre people become very rich and famous. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is a case in point. Mark is on his honeymoon, and because of his global status as a mover & shaker, the press is documenting his every move, especially in light of the recent IPO fiasco.
It goes without saying that Facebook itself is a joke. Basically, it's a platform in which Zuckerberg and friends try to sell a bunch of monkeys some shit they don't need while these monkeys groom each other online. That's also why Twitter and smartphones are so popular—it's the constant stroking.
These big-brained, bipedal monkeys—technically, suborder Anthropoidea, family Hominidae, Genus Homo—like to stay in touch. All the time. Almost every minute of every day. Facebook claims it has 900 million users. I believe it. Perhaps you have heard it said that humans are social animals. Now you know what that means.
ashton kutcher (@aplusk on twitter) — 10,809,396 followers
But I digress. Let's get back to the Z-man on his honeymoon.
Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan spent their honeymoon abroad in Rome, Italy.
They flew there in a private jet and stayed at a five star hotel, Portrait Suites, near the Spanish Steps. It's owned by Salvatore Ferragamo; rooms start at 800 Euros per night.
They had a 32 Euro meal in the at Nonna Betta, dined at Pierluigi, grabbed McDonald's, toured the Vatican, Sistine Chapel, Colosseum, and Trevi Fountain.
"They seemed like two lovebirds," says one of the restaurant owners. "They shared a plate of artichoke ravioli in the centre of the table. It was a very romantic scene."
Mark and Priscilla wondering whether that painting on the ceiling is for sale
I don't know about you, but I always eat at McDonald's when I'm in Rome. After all, it's the finest food in the world. However, Mark and Priscilla did try some other eateries like Pierluigi. So adventurous! We've got a report on that, too.
He may be worth $20 billion, but when Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg took his new wife to lunch during their secret honeymoon in Rome he spent just 32 euros (£26) – and did not leave a tip.
The owners of the kosher restaurant in Rome's Jewish Ghetto – a historic quarter in the center of the city – were surprised when Mr Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chin walked away without leaving a gratuity.
Their bill came to just 32 euros after a lunch consisting of deep-fried artichokes – a Roman Jewish speciality – fried pumpkin flowers and ravioli stuffed with sea bass and artichokes.
Instead of wine or beer they opted for a bottle of water and a pot of tea.
Waiters at Nonna Betta, which specializes in Roman Jewish cuisine, were amazed by Mr Zuckerberg's parsimony, not just because of his huge wealth but because of Americans' reputation for tipping generously, as is expected of them at home.
It was not a case of not enjoying the meal, said the owner of the restaurant.
"I asked him 'how was it?' and he said 'very good'", the owner, identified only as Umberto, told Corriere della Sera newspaper. "I had gone up to him and said 'Are you ...?' and he said 'Yes'."
It was not the first time that the multi-billionaire chose not to tip – he reportedly did the same thing the night before at Pierluigi, a historic trattoria near Campo de' Fiori, a pizza in the heart of Rome.
Not a big tipper, that Mark. By the way, the great thing about McDonald's is that nobody makes a fuss about it when you don't leave a tip. But Umberto, the owner of Nonna Betta, says not to worry.
Meanwhile the owner of a kosher restaurant in Rome's historic Ghetto quarter dismissed a row over Mr Zuckerberg not leaving a tip when he and his new wife ate there during their two-day stay in the capital.
Umberto Pavoncello said the failure to leave a tip for a lunch which cost 32 euros (£26) was of no consequence and said he was considering renaming one of the restaurant's signature dishes – deep-fried courgette flowers – after Mr Zuckerberg.
He wrote on the website of his restaurant, Nonna Betta (Granny Betta) that he would like to make the internet guru "an honorary nephew" and speculated that he had failed to leave a tip because he was in a hurry.
Mark is also puzzled by the existence of cash machines.
The 28-year-old multi-billionaire was unable to access his vast personal fortune when he tried to withdraw money from a cash point on the island of Capri.
The young internet tycoon and his new wife, Priscilla Chan, went by boat from the picturesque Amalfi Coast to the island in the Bay of Naples earlier this week.
From the island's tiny port they took an open-topped taxi to have lunch at Da Giorgio, a local restaurant.
They then found a nearby ATM machine, owned by Banca della Campania, in a whitewashed alcove of Capri's main village, a haunt of Hollywood celebrities and the super-rich.
A video shot by a passer-by showed Mr. Zuckerberg looking at the cash machine quizzically and asking advice from a fellow tourist, before abandoning the attempt to withdraw money and walking away.
Mark doesn't quite "get" this ATM thing. Mark wants to know what's this all about? And Mark didn't leave a tip because he was in a hurry. It's not because he's mean and stupid. It's not because he's some mediocre asshole with a shitload of money. It's not because Mark Zuckerberg is a cretin.
Hot Off The Presses! This Just In!
We've learned the real reason Mark didn't tip his waiters at those restaurants in Rome.
Well, that didn't take long.
Less than two weeks after Bloomberg's Billionaire Index declared Mark Zuckerberg the 29th richest person on Earth, the Facebook founder has fallen off the list entirely.
Bloomberg's index measures only the wealth of the top 40 richest people in the world, and as of now, Zuckerberg is $800,000 behind the current No. 40 on the list — Luis Carlos Sarmiento, a septuagenarian who controls more than a quarter of Columbia's financial industry.
Of course, no one is suggesting you feel bad for the 28-year-old newlywed — as of Tuesday his estimated net worth was still a whopping $14.7 billion, according to Bloomberg. But on the other hand, the guy did lose $4.7 billion in just 11 days — at least on paper.
Could this be why he skimped on tipping a waiter in Rome?
Yes it is! With his net worth down to a paltry $14.7 billion, Mark couldn't afford to leave a tip.
"It's a platform in which Zuckerberg and friends try to sell a bunch of monkeys some shit they don't need while these monkeys groom each other online."
Funniest line you have ever written.
Posted by: RobM | 05/30/2012 at 10:37 AM