Sequester Week In America

Last week was Oscar Pistorius Week in America, but time has passed, and February 25-March 1 is Sequester Week in America. It's important that Americans not be given too many things to think about at once.

After doing extensive market research in a nation in which half of college freshmen can not find Ohio or New York on a map, the elites who run this phony glorious enterprise called the United States decided that "consumers" of news could handle exactly 1 (one) major topic per week, as opposed to 2 (two) or 3 (three). Moreover, it was clear that you can not have 0 (zero) major topics because Americans require a major weekly distraction to make sure they do not accidently notice, albeit ever so briefly, that the United States is complete joke.

In an effort to get into the swing of things, and knowing that going along is always the key to getting along, DOTE is devoting this post to the budget cuts due on Friday, which are called "the sequester."

Now, it may surprise you to learn that this year's sequester amounts to only 85 billion dollars ($85,000,000,000), which is approximately 2.4% of the annual federal budget. That sounds like a lot of money to you and me, but it is a mere pittance, a veritable drop in the bucket, in the general scheme of things.

But you would not know that if you are following this week's major media topic. You would think, if the slew of stories appearing in the press are anything to go by, that our world is going to end on Friday.

Seeking to raise alarm among a public that has not paid much attention to the issue, the White House on Sunday released 51 fact sheets describing what would happen over the next seven months if the cuts go into effect.

I hope you will forgive me if I do not cover all the scary consequences of the sequester as detailed at the Washington Post, the New York Times, CNN, Time, Yahoo Finance, CBS News, ABC News, NBC News, NPR, PBS, MSNBC, and all the rest. After all, the sequester is merely this week's news.

Let's get to the bottom of this sequester hysteria. It's really very simple — actual government spending cuts will spell the end of economic Extend & Pretend, which has been going on for almost 4 years now.

When government spending falls, even a tiny bit, GDP will fall with it. As GDP falls, it will become more and more difficult to pretend that an economic revival is just around the corner. If an economic revival is not right around the corner because GDP is falling instead of being propped up by borrowed and printed money, citizens will get discouraged or depressed. Suicide attempts will soar. Americans everywhere will be forced to face the Awful Truth—

Oh my God — we thought we were OK, but it turns out we're full of shit!

Needless to say, nobody likes finding out that they're actually full of shit when all along they thought they were OK.

Such a devastating revelation will inevitably cause many people to give up altogether on this phony glorious enterprise called the United States of America. Only chaos, and perhaps total collapse, can follow

To prevent this unpleasant scenario, the mainstream media, as directed by the White House and other interested parties, have created a media blitz this week which is designed to get Congress to change its mind about these indiscriminate, across-the-board spending cuts so the world doesn't end on Friday. The media's preferred method in this blitz is to scare the shit out of Americans so they will apply the appropriate pressure on recalcitrant Republicans and otherwise support liberal "growth" policies.

I just thought you would like to know what's going on during Sequester Week.

 

Comments

[Alexander Ač]

Dave,

U.S.A. is NOT alone in this - right now victory of Beppe Grillo (who wants to grill bankers and quit/referendum on euro) - will mean the end of Eurozone! :-) What is the difference?

And European thought everything is fine till ITA elections!

Cheers,

Alexander

[Jim]

It is interesting how different groups and individuals are reacting to it. One thing can be counted on - almost no one will point out the obvious (as you have here).

One of the more humorous responses I've seen is here:
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/hawaii-governor-warns-sequestration-pearl-harbor-less-secure-174946435--politics.html

In not unrelated news, I saw this article this morning and did a double-take. I thought I had switched to the Onion without realizing it:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21589128

[Oliver]

Based on the Law of Diminishing Returns, the top-down deployment of single-topic-per-week hype to keep the US population pacified and buying Big Macs requires increasing levels of shock value. By this accounting, I predict that the MSM will announce an alien landing in DC sometime in April, followed by a horrific new dress malfunction by Kim Kardassian (sic) in July.

[JohnWDB]

I find it fascinating that the amount of *annual* proposed cuts is exactly equivalent to the *monthly* amount the Fed is printing to buy worthless MBS as part of QE infinitum, yet we are to instructed to panic over one and ignore the other. Government borrowing and Fed printing are not dissimilar, as they're both a tax on middle class, retirees, and future generations. Ironically, Republicans in seeking slow to this charade by some minimal degree, are portrayed as evil blood-suckers with no regard for the middle class, retirees, and future generations. Unfortunately, their total disregard for military budget in the 2000's (not that this is entirely different from the Democrats' militarism) knocks their austerity legs out from under them.

One thing's for sure--Obama has been spectacular at spinning both the fiscal cliff and the sequester in terms of public opinion. He is one of the most ineffectual presidents of the last century, but he may be the best spinmeister, and that's saying something. I can't think of another president who could get applauded by greens just for mentioning the environment, when he only brought it up to say that he's not going to do anything at all about it. I can't imagine anyone else saying "toughest Wall Street reforms in history" with a straight face while either arm is around a Wall Street crony. I can't imagine any Democrat not just getting away with doubling down on militarism/detainment, but being seen as an anti-interventional peacekeeper to boot. Surely his is the most ironic Nobel Prize in history.

[John D]

I guarantee you that if the sequester goes through, every reporter in the country will go scouring the land next week trying to find a kid that missed their vaccination shot, or some senior that missed their meals on wheels dinner; due to the sequester. We can call it 'Save America Week'.