Dave's Rules Of American Political Life

OK, I've had enough. In Europe and other more civilized places, elections are held in weeks. In the United States, elections last 2 years, which remarkably enough is equal to the term of a member of the House Of Representatives. The election talk is deafening, and now drowns out any attempt by American citizens to have & hold a rational thought. I daresay that's the idea, and for the 130 million Americans who will vote this year, it appears to be working. And it is only mid-July, so we have nearly 4 months to go.

Without further preamble, I give you the two primary rules of American political life in the 21st century.

• The amount of political bullshit you are subjected to is directly proportional to the flagrant insanity and abject corruption which needs to be concealed.


• The amount of political bullshit you are subjected to is inversely proportional to the importance of the election result.

I hope these rules will help you through these tough times. Remembering them from time to time will help put things in proper perspective, and assist you in maintaining what sanity you have left, given the fact that you live in a time & place where (non-violent) human craziness has reached its high-water mark.

And never forget the immortal words of Dr. Emilio Lizardo (Lord John Whorfin) from the 1984 film Buckeroo Banzai—

Laugha while you can monkeyboy!

 

Comments

[Bill Hicks]

I have no way of getting any kind of reliable indicator of this, but It seems like the public is particularly dispirited regarding this campaign. Driving around, for example, I've seen very few bumper stickers for either candidate so far. Romney stickers have hardly been in evidence, and most of the Obama stickers I see are leftovers from 2008.

Ever since 1980, presidential elections have been decided by which party's base is more fired up. It will be interesting to see what happens in an election in which both bases are unenthusiastic about their candidate.

[John D]

It is absolutely miserable living in a swing state. Political commercials 24/7 on all channels, several robocalls every night. Poke my eye with a needle to dull the pain!

[sweaterman]

Dave -

One of my favorite films! Mr. Lithgow was outstanding in that role!

(When are we goin' home?! REAL SOON!)

[Wanooski]

Dave, once again, I have a request... I have to imagine you've seen the bullshit that that shill David Brooks has put out about how elites are just so special and glorious by now, and I was hoping that you could take that little turd to task. And if you do decide to do so, go ahead and get to it at your leisure.

[Don Levit]

Dave:
I just realized why talk is cheap!
It is because the supply exceeds the demand.
Don Levit

[Anywhere But Here Is Better]

To an observer on this side of the body of murky fluid previously known as the Atlantic Ocean, the current US election looks like the third worst B-movie ever made. (The first was Nixon Drowns In Watergate, the second Bush's First Election Fix.)

What particularly grabs us foreigners is the abdication of even a pretense of democracy in the Land of the Fee (sic). You have a bought-and-paid-for election system controlled by two puppet political parties who barely differ in policy once the rhetoric is exhausted every fourth November.

We see Obama pursuing the same fascistic global agenda as Bush. We see the export of bad debt created by greed-fixated bankers protected by cronies in government with access to endless amounts of taxpayers' money. We see imprisonment without trial in an extra-judicial corner of Cuba. We see US citizens (let alone non-US) exterminated by remote control without trial. We see foreigners extradited to the US for show trials. We see supine acceptance of American power by pathetic 'friendly' governments in awe of the grotesquely funded US military machine. We see incredible double standards in the so-called spread of democracy - Vietnam, Chile, Grenada, Serbia, Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria, Iran etc must be tamed by force, but not Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Israel, Egypt, Zimbabwe, Myanmar or China among others, where equally heinous crimes against humanity occur.

Whoever gets so-called elected this November, will anything really be different? A new nutbar or the same Mr Disappointing... what a choice.

Need I go on? The US used to be a beacon of freedom, at least in principle if not in deed. So we look to you millions of American citizens to restore some semblance of democratic accountability and wise exercise of global power. How you do it is up to you.

[Brian M]

Hmmm, I could have sworn the two rules of politics were....

Rule 1. Politics make you stupid.
Rule 2. See rule 1.

I guess these are corollaries. ;-)

[Don Levit]

Sen Hannah said in 1895:
The 2 most important things in politics are :
1. Money
2. I forgot